Sunday, January 15, 2006

Florid Fictions

There is a last outpost of florid fancies and furbelows.
Taking a break from research here to bring you bits from the truth IS stranger than fiction department:


A sensorial and mysterious scent with frankincense wood accents....a sweet, woodsy, resinous note achieved from the combustion of agarwood.

Sensorial??? Why use one four syllable adjective when two four syllable ones will do will do?

M.G. would thwap them for using sensorial and scent in the same sentence.

The combustion of agarwood??? Will it spontaneously ignite on my skin to create the smell?

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A fragrant alchemy of enchanted forest notes (oak, patchouli) wedded to whale amber, a ‘cross between leather and flowers’.

Do you Mister Oak take Ms Spermwhale as your awfully wedded wife?

Leather and Flowers? E. Ann would have something to say about that….

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A sparkling opening bursting with citrus fruit, pierced with a mouthwatering note of red currant. The heart unveils a bouquet of fresh flowers, enhanced with a bulrush note


Bulrush Note???? Will a shirtless and younger Charlton Heston arise from the Nile?

12 Comments:

At 7:23 PM, Blogger R.J. Baker said...

Wow. What the heck do yawl read over there in Bunionland, wedded to whale amber... chk...ck....ck

It chokes me up. (tears) ,,,,,,,

 
At 7:37 PM, Blogger Lisa S. said...

it's super secret, r.j.

If I told you I'd have to kill myself.

 
At 9:04 PM, Blogger R.J. Baker said...

Don't do that you'll have the Bunion intervention Squad over there giving you mouth to mouth.

 
At 7:08 AM, Blogger E. Ann Bardawill said...

Leather and flowers?
.
.
.
.
Horny and Thorny.
Yer one stop shop for all yer
Whore T Cultural Hidey-HO needs.

We take AMEX, Visa, Master/Slave cards and cash.

 
At 8:33 AM, Blogger Bernita said...

Since when did amber come from whales?
Who needs fossilized sperm?Sounds worse than fossilized dinosaur feces... this is pure coprolite.
Ack. Ack. Ack.

 
At 9:31 AM, Blogger Lisa S. said...

Bernita,

In their own convoluted way they are talking about Ambergris, which is sperm whale puke. Stinks like doodoo when it's first horked up but after a while floating on the ocean the nastiness gets washed out of it and it really does smell very lovely. It's found flotaing on the ocean or occasionally washed up on shore. It or its synthetic mimics are widely used in men's and women's perfumery.

Now you don't gant to get me started about how they get real civet, which is also used in perfumery.

 
At 9:55 AM, Blogger Erik Ivan James said...

Great value in wandering through the "bunion blogs". Non-stop learning experience.

 
At 10:08 AM, Blogger M. G. Tarquini said...

M.G. would thwap them for using sensorial and scent in the same sentence.

No, she would thwap them for using scent, accents in the same sentence. Also for using sensorial and frankincense together.

It's all in the lilt and that sentence don't have it.

 
At 10:37 AM, Blogger Bernita said...

Yes, I knew they MEANT ambergris but it is pure fraud to use the word amber, no matter how nice and jewellery it sounds.

 
At 10:42 AM, Blogger Lisa S. said...

Bernita,

oops, sorry. (makes embarassed face)

 
At 11:50 AM, Blogger Bernita said...

ptooie.
Don't be.
Doya think I don't do the same thing?

 
At 1:50 PM, Blogger Lisa S. said...

Erik, You'd be amazed at the vast corpus of knowledge that resides within these bunioned minds.

 

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